Chasing a Dream Read online

“Diamond Rio.” He chucked her under the chin. “Great song.”

  Tess looked skeptical.

  “Ah, darlin’, if you give me half a chance, I’d open the doors for you to a world of steel guitars and honky-tonks.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t bring my passport. You’ll have to make that trip alone.” She cracked a grin.

  Instead of answering her quip, he ran his gaze over her perspiration-slick body. “Do you realize that as sweaty as we are, we have no way to bathe? Unless you want to take your chances with the muddy water.”

  She grimaced. “Ugh.” Catching a bead of his sweat as it trickled across his chest, Tess sighed. “Oh, well. At least we’ll stink together.”

  “I’m starved. Let’s go rustle up some grub, pilgrim,” he said in his best John Wayne voice.

  “I knew you were a cowboy!” Tess giggled, and the happy sound resounded in his heart.

  He swatted at her bottom as he kicked free of the sheets and strolled over to his backpack to find a clean pair of briefs. After putting on his underwear, he paused by the pitiful excuse for an air conditioner and flipped open the control panel.

  “Tess!” He scoffed. “We’ve been sweltering all night because all you turned on was the fan!” Jabbing the button marked “cool,” he sighed when chilly air rushed out of the vent at his feet. “If I had known that you . . .”

  He swallowed the rest of his admonition when he faced her and saw the color drain from her cheeks. His gut knotted when he realized what he’d said and the tone he’d used.

  “Oh, man, Tess, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean . . .” He huffed in self-disgust and pinched the bridge of his nose. He’d screwed up again, proof positive why he could never make Tess happy over the long haul. Raising his eyes to her, he saw the tint returning to her face. “Forgive me, please.”

  He stepped over to her and folded her in his arms. “Tess, I’m so sorry for yelling. You made a simple mistake. Don’t worry about it.”

  She pulled away from him, giving him a leery, appraising once-over. A flare of anger burned in his chest for the man who’d intimidated Tess until she learned to suppress her emotions. But more than anything, he swam a flood tide of frustration with his own thoughtless mouth. He’d always been too quick to speak, prone to trigger responses that drove his family nuts.

  “Don’t withdraw again.” He held his hand out to her, and his tone pleaded softly. “Please. You don’t have to hide your feelings from me. I want to hear you yell back if that’s what you feel like. Come on, I can take it.”

  She shook her head. “It’s okay. Forget it.”

  “Tess . . .”

  “Just forget it. It doesn’t matter.” Turning her back, she walked away.

  “It does matter. Retreating won’t solve anything. I don’t want you storing up resentment against me. Let it out, and let’s clear the air. I can’t promise I’ll never lose my temper, but if I do, I want you to hold your ground and yell back.”

  Silently she dug through her suitcase, ignoring him.

  He sighed wearily. “Don’t let him win, Tess.”

  Her movements stilled.

  “I’ve seen a spark in you, and I want to help you nourish it. I know you don’t believe it, you don’t see your potential, but it’s there. You have a core of strength and courage that’s admirable, Tess. Draw on it. Build on it. You’ve come a long way just by breaking free from him. Don’t retreat now.”

  She turned a haunted expression toward him. “I may have been strong once.” Biting her lip, she dropped her gaze. “But any spark I had is gone. I traded it with the rest of my dignity when I gave myself to Randall. I bartered myself for survival.” Her hands plowed restlessly through her possessions, and her face grew rigid and unforgiving.

  “Look again. I can see it. Trust yourself. But for God’s sake, don’t let him win.” He crossed the floor to her and lifted her chin with his palm. Meeting her gaze head on, he said emphatically, “I believe in you, Tess. Don’t give up.”

  Doubt still filled her eyes, but the twitch of her lips and her weak smile of acknowledgment said she’d heard what he said and had planted it somewhere deep inside. For now, that was enough.

  ***

  “What did you say the name of this town is?” As Justin drove the Jimmy out of the motel parking lot, Tess squinted in the bright sunlight at the map she’d picked up at a gas station the day before.

  “Vernon.”

  “Justin?” She shook her head and wrinkled her nose. “How can that be? We were nearly in Amarillo before you started driving yesterday.”

  “I know. But Nashville is east. I drove east.”

  “You backtracked.”

  “Yep, ’cause you went the wrong way.”

  “The wrong . . .” She stopped and took a breath to calm the irritation in her voice. “There is no wrong way except anything that takes me back toward San Antonio. I need distance. I need to get far away from south Texas. Your change of course means that I wasted a whole day driving—”

  “The wrong way. Nashville is east.” He sported a cocky grin, and the protest on her lips died. She didn’t want an argument, knew fighting wouldn’t change what had been done.

  Justin didn’t know about the flier with her picture, didn’t understand how close Randall’s men were. But she did. She imagined them breathing down her neck, and her spine tingled with dread.

  Distance. They had to put more distance between her and Randall’s realm of power.

  Taking a slow breath, she explained what she thought was obvious. “I can’t go to Nashville with you, Justin. Randall could easily have contacts there. Besides, you want to make your presence known, and I have to hide out. I need obscurity.”

  His smile faded, and his expression became unreadable.

  She sighed. “We can drive toward Nashville for you, and I’ll let you out there. But I have to keep moving. The farther, the better.”

  “Then I’ll keep moving with you. Nashville’s not going anywhere. My first priority right now is seeing you’re safe.”

  A pang of gratitude plucked her heart, along with the bitter irony that her priority today had to be ditching Justin somehow. For his safety.

  But maybe, just maybe, they could drive toward Nashville together a while longer. She could store up a few more treasured memories, he could get that much closer to his destination, and then . . .

  She hated to think beyond the here and now. Before she’d met Justin, building a life away from Randall had been a blissful goal to strive for. Now, starting a new life by herself seemed lonely. Still, her selfish desire for his company and the safety she gained from his presence didn’t outweigh her moral obligation to shield him.

  She huffed her frustration and turned toward the window. How long did she dare stay with him? Randall’s men could be anywhere. They could strike in a split second, as the man at the fast food restaurant had. With no warning. She leaned her head against the window to brood.

  Then she spotted the first of the buildings.

  Tess and Justin looked at each other across the front seat of the Jimmy and gave a mutual groan of disgust and disbelief.

  “Two more miles! Not more than a few blocks!” She waved her hand at the line of buildings, including a large hotel belonging to a national chain and a series of fast food restaurants. “If we’d just driven a little further last night, we could have had a decent room, a decent meal, a decent—”

  “But we wouldn’t have had as much fun.” Justin gave her a lopsided grin. “So we roughed it a little because we stopped too soon. So what?”

  She studied the nonchalance in Justin’s indifferent shrug and marveled again at his easy-going nature.

  “I’m kinda partial to the ole Catch-a-Wink today for sentimental reasons,” he added with a puckish expression.

  Turning her attention back to the line of buildings, she spotted the black and yellow sign at the same time Justin did.

  “Bingo. Waffle House!” He turned in at the restaurant, and her st
omach rumbled at the thought of food.

  Remembering the flier with her picture, Tess turned to the backseat and retrieved Justin’s Stetson. She twisted her hair up and tucked it inside the hat and reached in her purse for her sunglasses, despite the overcast day. It wasn’t much of a disguise, but she prayed it would be enough.

  After breakfast, Tess convinced Justin to check into another hotel long enough for them each to shower. While she hated the three-hour delay it cost them, the shower went a long way toward reviving her spirits. Once back on the road, Justin took the wheel and headed down a two-lane state highway, citing a need for a change of scenery. As they settled in, he found a country station on the radio. Tess arched an eyebrow and gave him a teasing scowl.

  He grinned smugly. “Remember? The driver gets to pick the entertainment.”

  With a groan, she settled back in her seat. Her body ached with a stiffness that reminded her of the night and the feel of Justin’s body entwined with hers. The memory sent a warm tingle skittering over her skin, and she smiled.

  Tilting her head, she watched the raven-haired man behind the wheel. A day’s growth of beard shadowed his handsome profile, as it had the day she picked him up along the rain-drenched highway in south Texas.

  His lips puckered, and he whistled with the tune on the radio. She turned her thoughts to his entreaty that morning. For God’s sake, don’t let him win. Don’t give up.

  When her parents were alive, before Angela had sold her body to keep them alive, she’d known the kind of hope Justin encouraged in her. Did she still have the strength Justin said he saw? Could she ever forgive herself for letting parts of herself die when she gave herself to Randall? She’d been so young and alone, so frightened of the dead-end life she faced. She’d believed Randall loved her. How could she have known she was only trading one form of misery for another? How could she have known that instead of selling her body to survive as Angela had, she’d sell her soul?

  Perhaps she could forgive herself for her youthful ignorance, but when Randall had shown his true nature, why had she stayed? For thirteen years, she’d given to Randall until she had nothing left, and still he’d demanded more from her. He’d killed the spirit of the young woman who’d dreamed of happily ever after. He’d sapped the energy from the girl who’d giggled with her sister and bubbled with life in the innocent days of childhood.

  Reaching out, she stroked the unshaven cheek of the man who’d challenged her to find that girl again and draw on her strength. Was part of the old Tess still buried inside her?

  Justin cut a sideways glance at her and smiled. His peaceful optimism warmed her, and she closed her eyes. Lulled by the hum of the tires and her full stomach, she fell asleep.

  She didn’t wake again until Justin stopped the car, and she sat up blinking to see where they were.

  “Pit stop,” he said. “We need gas, and I need chocolate.”

  “And it’s my turn to drive,” she added, reaching into the backseat for Justin’s hat as she had at breakfast.

  Tess tugged the brim of the hat low, and Justin took her hand as they walked into the gas station.

  The idea that he viewed them as a couple needled her conscience. Did he think their lovemaking was the beginning of something lasting? She’d fallen into a trap of her own making. She’d known better than to start caring for Justin. Her affection for him already complicated an untenable situation. Whether or not Justin realized it, she knew chances were good that Randall would find her sooner or later. When he did, she would die. It was her duty to ensure that Justin didn’t.

  Tess sat in the driver’s seat of the Jimmy and wrapped sweaty hands around the steering wheel. Justin was still inside, using the restroom of the gas station/minimart where they’d stopped. This was her chance. All she had to do was press the accelerator and drive off without him.

  For his own good. For his own good! Yet no matter how many times she repeated the phrase to herself, she couldn’t drive away. Conflicting emotions warred inside her and brought tears to her eyes. How could she leave him stranded? He could, of course, fend for himself if he had his pack and his guitar. That thought gave her the courage she needed. If she unloaded his belongings and left them on the curb for him to find . . .

  She climbed out of the truck and circled to the passenger side. She had to leave him. She had to do it. He’d have everything he needed to get by, along with the safety of his anonymity. Her mind set, she opened the back door to pull out his pack.

  The pack weighed a ton. She struggled with it, then groaned when one strap caught on a lever just under the seat. She pushed it back in, unsnagged the strap, and tried again. She was losing time. Justin would be back soon, and her opportunity would be gone. Her fingers trembled as she hurried.

  ***

  “Hey, buddy, you seen this woman around here?”

  Justin turned to the stocky, pug-nosed man who stopped him on his way out of the men’s room. Dropping his gaze to the photograph the man poked at him, Justin’s heart slammed against his ribs. Yeah, he’d seen the woman in the picture.

  But he didn’t know her by the name under the black and white head shot. “Sinclair,” the caption read. Not “Carpenter.”

  He worked to show no recognition or alarm. Tess had warned him not to underestimate Randall’s scope of power and ability to find her. He recalled her few efforts that morning to disguise herself and her reaction to the desk clerk who thought he recognized her.

  Justin shook his head and shrugged. “Tess Sinclair? Never heard of her. Why do you ask?”

  “You haven’t seen her around here then?” the stocky man asked, ignoring Justin’s question.

  “Naw. Sorry.” He thought about Tess, sitting out in the truck while this creep flashed her picture around inside. How the guy had missed seeing her when she came in to use the restroom was anybody’s guess.

  As calmly as he could, as fast as he could, Justin returned to the Jimmy. He scanned the parking lot as he left and watched the stocky guy show Tess’s picture to another couple that had just left the store. Without taking his eyes off the suspicious man, he jogged to the truck.

  Tess was leaning in the backseat, fumbling with something.

  “You ready to go?” He climbed into the driver’s side and cranked the engine.

  She looked at him with wide, startled eyes, and her shoulders drooped. Giving him a reluctant nod, she closed the back door and climbed in the front. “Yeah, I guess. Unless—” Before she could finish her sentence, he tore out of the parking lot and hightailed it for the interstate.

  CHAPTER TEN

  As Justin took a corner too fast, Tess grabbed the edge of her seat and cast a curious glance at him. “Where’s the fire?”

  He checked the rearview mirror to see if anyone had followed them from the gas station. When he felt sure no one had, he backed off the gas. Only then did he draw an easy breath. Tess stared at him like he’d lost his mind, and he gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, but there was some creep at the gas station who . . .” He decided telling her the truth might cause her to panic.

  “Who what?” Her gaze narrowed, and worry wrinkled her brow.

  “Who, uh, propositioned me.”

  Tess’s eyes widened, and a giggle bubbled from her. “He what?”

  “You heard me. He gave me the willies, so I got the hell outta there.”

  Now Tess laughed without mercy. “What did he say?”

  Justin scowled. “Nothing a lady should hear. Would you stop laughing? It’s not funny!” Or at least the truth wasn’t funny.

  “Can’t say that I blame him for trying.” She leaned toward him and dragged a finger down his cheek. “You stud-puppy.”

  Her laughter filled the truck with an effervescence that lightened his mood and stirred new emotions deep inside him. He recognized that he’d begun to feel more for this woman than lust, concern and friendship.

  And it scared him. He h
ad no place in her life. The close call with the dude at the gas station only made clearer his need to find her a safe hideout quickly. The sooner the better. He couldn’t afford to grow any closer to her. He was too likely to let his emotions cloud his judgment. He would never forgive himself if he let his feelings get in the way of doing what was best, what was right for Tess.

  Glancing at her, he wondered about the name on the picture. Sinclair.

  “What is Randall’s last name?” he asked without preamble, and Tess sobered.

  She cast him a dubious gaze. “Why?”

  “It can’t hurt for me to know who and what we’re dealing with, can it?”

  Swinging her gaze to the passenger-side window, she fell silent.

  “Sinclair,” she whispered finally, almost too softly to be heard.

  He nodded, grateful that she’d trusted him with the truth. Having her faith, her honesty, sharpened his sense of responsibility for her. He’d do anything to see that he didn’t betray that trust or let her down.

  That night when they stopped outside of Shreveport, Louisiana, Justin suggested they drive away from the interstate and find a motel in town. Tess gave him a concerned look that said she wondered what he wasn’t telling her, but she nodded her agreement.

  “You certainly have a lot of freckles on your back, Mr. Boyd. Did you know that?” Tess dragged a finger across Justin’s broad, muscled back as he lay on his stomach with his hands stacked under his cheek.

  “Not only do I know about those freckles, I know that if you connect all of them in the right order, they make a picture of a teddy bear.” His voice held the craggy, lazy rasp of a drowsy man languishing in the aftermath of satisfying sex.

  Tess snorted. “Yeah, right.”

  While Justin lolled about, she crackled with energy. The sensual delights he introduced her to excited and invigorated her. Try as she might to regret her second thwarted attempt to leave Justin behind, she enjoyed his company, his friendship and their sex too much to tarnish it with second thoughts. A world of sweet sensation and discovery, a new appreciation and acceptance of her body, and the freedom to dabble and play lay spread at her feet. She intended to savor it all. She knew this nirvana would not last.